Hair, sponsored by Febreze

How 'bout the time my hair caught on fire? That's always good for a laugh.

So I'm talking to Cindy Kaplan and Martha Sharpe in the bar while setting up for Wednesday's show when my hair sets on fire. My back is to the counter and my hair dangles down into a candle and pfloom -- I see smoke start ascending from behind my shoulders like wings and someone yells, "Amanda!" Then "Oh my God, Oh my God!" Martha turns me around and Cindy starts wacking at my back and head. I feel nothing, because as Cindy pointed out, hair has no feelings. But, because I feel nothing I think it's my dress that's on fire and I'm pretty calm because I can't actually see the flames, but am really bummed about my dress. But if my dress is on fire I should probably take it off, but there are people already at the bar and I'm not wearing my good underwear so I keep it on. As soon as Cindy pans the flames out, I realize that it wasn't my dress, but my hair and I slowly raise my hand to feel the back of my hair -- c-r-u-n-c-h - I'm horrified. "My hair!" Cindy goes in for the save with, "It's okay, it was already layered." I go to the bathroom and start pulling out reams of my hair, full on thickets of the back of my hair. The entire bar smells like burning hair. Robert, the bar manager, appears with a bottle of Febreze and starts spraying my hair, which makes it, um, kind of worse. So I'm standing at the mic, about to start the show, facing a room filled with smoke and the scent of burnt hair while my own is charred and dripping wet with odor absorbing spray. Fun times. I've washed my hair about 8 times since then and am pleased to report - almost all the smell is gone. Almost.

More on the actual show soon...

Tonight!

Come by Happy Ending tonight to hear:

Robert Lopez
Elizabeth Hand
Cynthia Kaplan

with music from

Jamie Leonhart

8pm

302 Broome Street
between Forsyth and Eldridge

One Word Celebrity Interview

Actually, it's One Word Celebrity Answers, but I don't like the ring as much, so I'll sacrifice precision for taste.

EVAN HANDLER



1) Describe your childhood.

Distant

2) In the beginning, there was…

Everything

3) The subway stalls and the announcer says “Due to an investigation at 34th Street the C will be running on the F line.” What’s the investigation?

Fucked

4) That recurring dream you have. What’s it about?

Death

5) Of all the characters, women included, on the television show, “In Treatment,” whom do you most identify with?

Huh?

5.5) Why?

Unfamiliarity

6) You can only wear dance shoes for the rest of your life. But you have a choice of dance genres. Which genre do you choose?

Swing

7) Do you know your four letter personality type based on the Myers-Briggs personality inventory? Mine are: INFP. What are yours?

EVAN

8) How old is your oldest friend?

Expired

9) Who was your best friend in 6th grade?

Myself

10) When was the last time you two were in communication?

Yesterday

11) What is your favorite condiment?

Sex

12) Invent a word that means disappointment.

Ooffa

13) Tell me the story of your life.

Eventually

14) Why do you think Celine Dion isn’t taken seriously by so many people?

Herself

15) What’s your favorite exclamation?

Dagnabbit!

16) You must give a lecture on something you know nothing about. What topic do you choose?

Satisfaction

17) What color is the word tomorrow?

Transparent

18) You get a call. You’ve been informed that you were improperly named. Evan is going to be expunged from your birth certificate. You’ll need to give them a new name instead. One that you feel suits you better. What do you choose?

Questo

19) When in doubt...

Delay

20) What did you do today?

Arose

21) What’s your middle name?

E_ _ _ _ _ T

Evan's new book, IT’S ONLY TEMPORARY: THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS OF BEING ALIVE (Riverhead), is a collection of funny, off-beat, and poignant autobiographical essays about incurable illness, ever-elusive love and hard won happiness. It's out now.

So Long Sydney.

I miss you already.

What I've Been Up To...

I went to a Calder / Nakashimi Art opening

Nice bartender who gave me some disgusting gum (but very good champagne)




Random photo of a man




Joost Elffers




This is Johnny, the coat check guy. I had to pretend he was my boyfriend, twice. Once when a 70 year old Nigerian man tried having sex with me on the dance floor and again when a crazy person tried.


This is the crazy person


The after-party had amazing views




And a killer DJ


And enthusiastic dancing










And then I went home


My friend Danielle and I took my new bike (and her old one) on a ride from Fort Greene to Red Hook and back...




Saw my niece Maisie in her school play


With my other niece, Lili...




My best friends from college came to visit me for 4 days





My sister, Nina and I went to Beacon's Closet and sold our clothes. I made $191.77 cents.


I lost my phone, but then a guy found it in the back of a cab and when my friend Laurie called me and he answered, she gave him my email address and he wrote me and I got my phone. Afterwards, inspired by Mark Hage, I put this on my phone as a screensaver:

That's What I Like

From veteran Happy Ending musician, Jonathan Spottiswoode. The video for everyone's favorite song...

LONG AWAITED PHOTOS!!!

What an amazing night this was. It took so long to put photos up because there were so many and it was hard to choose. Darcey Steinke played with her band. Her band mates were her daughter, Abby and friend, Julia. Both are 12. Abby played drums and Julia sang. They were amazing. Blew the heads off everyone. Stefan Merrill Block read and told a story about being spied on by a guy in a tree, Pagan Kennedy did a tap dance she remembered from Kindergarten and Marcellus Hall played and endured my crushy comments about him.



















Pagan Kennedy demonstrating her tap dance.

Wishbones, wasabi and 2 Dead Moos

I'll get the pictures really soon, but May 14 was one hell of a show. Salvatore read from his first novel, The End and then passed around wishbones he'd been collecting over the years. Wishes were already placed upon the bones, he just needed someone to pull them apart.

Paul La Farge read a short piece and then ate as much wasabi as he could. I followed suit, but only took half a spoonful.

Nat Rich read from his new novel, The Mayor's Tongue and then played 2 songs from his band, 2 Dead Moo, that he had when he was 9. His unbroken, high voice, filled the small space of Happy Ending and my smile muscles hurt from laughing so hard.

Katell sang and played Franklin specially for me, which made me so happy.

And then we hung out until we were done.

Blu from Hope

Courtesy of Ted Hope comes this:


MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

I'm not dead

Will post pictures from the April 26 show before this Wednesday, I swear and then I'll be back to regular posting.

From the March 26th Show!

For his risk, Tod Wodicka shaved off his mustache!!







Fiona Maazel reads from her new book, Last Last Chance.




Samantha Hunt rubbed her hair with her baby's blanket that seems to cause the worst static electricity. Alas, the spirit of Nikla Tesla was not with us as her hair stayed pretty calm.






Matthew Bakkom reads some letters of complaint written to the city in the early twentieth century.





Kelley McRae





Fiona stares me down pre-reading

From the March 12th Show!!

David Shields read aloud the worst possible review of a book ever. It was for his book.





Paul Brill and Jamie Leonhart



Aryn Kyle sang a song in the voice of the chipmunks. I can't remember what song because I was too busy trying to figure out how far back in her nasal passages she had to go to retrieve that sound.



She not only nailed the voice, she nailed the face



Owen did this amazing thing. There's this Welsh word - 58 letters - and supposedly the longest name of a town in the world. Owen said the word: "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch" and then in an effort to get the audience to pronounce it, broke it down into words that rhymed with each syllable. Go here here for pronunciation. Then he split the audience up into sections giving us each our rhyme. He pointed to one section at a time and as if we were one person, we said the word in rhyme, one section at a time. It was awesome.



We did it! Success!!



Owen Sheers



The Chanteuse, Jamie Leonhart



Paul Brill showing his mad skillz

So Old It's Embarrassing

From the February 13th show - yep, seriously. This is why I need an intern.

Jonathan Scott Fuqua (try and pronounce that drunk)



Reading from her new book, "Have You Found Her," my biffle, Janice Erlbaum



Janice Erlbaum



Mike Errico, sliding it.

I Owe You

1. Photos from the last couple shows
2. Attention
3. Placid observations

But I am woefully behind here because of other less important things like, uh, trying to make money.

TONIGHT -- MY PAL EVAN HANDLER (Harry on Sex and the City) is reading from his new book tonight at Barnes and Noble on 66th and Broadway. It starts at 7:30. Please come. He's so lovely and so funny and deserves all the support he can get. So come on up! Or down, as the case may be.